Ordinary People

If I had known I was going to meet the Queen, I would have dressed up a little and put on some makeup. I wouldn’t have been in my sweaty running clothes, with a bleeding face and an ankle the size of a football. And I certainly wouldn’t have been cursing under my breath, using language that would make a sailor hang his head in shame. Read more

Just Jam the Scissors in my Ear

I’m surrounded with a sense of Déjà vu. American Gladiators are on every Monday night, Knight Ridder premiers next week and Rambo will soon be in the theaters. Pop culture is a cyclical phenomena that must follow a rotation of I love the 80’s on VH-1. In the short term, I need to know if mullets or rat tails are coming back into style soon, because I desperately need a hair cut and I’m reluctant to schedule an appointment. Read more

IF I DID IT